Why?

Ee I hate this skin I hate this skin! So ugly, so sick of it. grr..

Today was absolute shit, I really don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know whether I did well, or I pushed or where I stand. It's like a total standstill for me, and I know Sim's so fucking dissapointed in me. Like wtf!! I so don't want this to happen, but I don't know how to control it damn. So you tell me now, tell me all the answers to the how many questions I want to ask.

Yeah, there's Combines again next year and I'm so not looking forward to it. My everything sucks now, how to compete??! Somemore B girls wth. I shall stick to my job as the roadsweeper like Sim said. Sheesh, I go for every training, I even go run myself on non-training days. So why is this happening to me?!! I really can't stand this anymore, I desperately need some answers!

This feeling's just too weird for me to take anymore. I don't know what to do. I ran like some shit person today, all crunched up -.- Why? You tell me cos I really dont know man. Everything's lost itself.
I'm almost afraid to run now. I've lost myself.
Following days are going to be pretty busy (?) yeah, the forecast! Haha like the stupid weather which is so hot when we're training and so nice & cooling when we'renot -.-
Thursday (tmr): Nothing on! hahah busy eh?
Friday: Training at Tamp Stadium; 0830-1100++
Saturday: Sleep at school :D ; 1930 to next morning
Sunday: Standard Chartered Marathon CIP; from previous day to 4pm (?)
Monday to Friday: Malaysia Trip! :D
So packed -.- Will be darn tired I think.